’s Review of Skyrim

skyrim, which may or may not be a spoof of ultra-conservativism (I honestly can’t tell), has posted their review of Skyrim. And it’s magnificent. Here’s a tease…

If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.

November 28th, 2011

Destructoid’s Jim Sterling reviews Skyrim

Esteemed reviewer Jim Sterling had the following to say about Elder Scrolls: Skyrim…

Preparing for a new Elder Scrolls game is like preparing to die. One must ensure they get all their worldly affairs in order, speak with the people who mean everything to them, and have a final meal. After all, once that disc goes in, the user may as well have departed from our mortal world.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is a game that will murder you, for the time it steals from your life could rightfully be considered criminal. It is a game that will literally never end while simultaneously bringing you closer to your own end.

November 11th, 2011

The A.V. Club’s Review of Skyrim

The Onion’s A.V. Club has posted their review of Skyrim…

Skyrim is the northernmost province in Tamriel, the realm where the Elder Scrolls games take place, so it follows that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is informed by a sense of the North. The warm, ornate Tolkien kitsch that has dominated the look of this fantasy RPG series is replaced in Skyrim by a cool austerity. The title screen displays a black stone carving of a dragon beside a sans-serif invitation to begin playing, and the world’s structures are designed in a spare, elegant blend of Gaelic and Nordic influences. This is a cleaner game than its predecessors. One essential contradiction of northern climes, though, is that they’re both clean and rugged. The masterstroke of Skyrim is that, in addition to its sleek beauty, the edges are still rough where they need to be.

November 11th, 2011

Kotaku: Five Disappointing Things About Skyrim has listed a few improvements that could be made to the critically-acclaimed Elder Scrolls: Skyrim…

You’ve heard the buzz, read the reviews, and consulted the stars; all signs point to The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim being the second coming of Oblivion, only bigger, better, and bolder than its beloved predecessor. And for the most part it is, but there are some definite flaws on this shiny dragon-clutched diamond.

November 11th, 2011

Skyrim “will become your life,” says

From’s review of Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

In a recent blog post, LucasArts designer Clint Hocking wrote that the real beauty of a videogame is determined by its player, not its creator.

“I don’t want to be your hero,” he wrote. “I want you to be your hero.”

Perhaps this is why Skyrim’s world is such a triumphant accomplishment. It gives you a large blank canvas and tells you to do what you’d like with it. You guide your own narrative, control your own fate, choose your own adventure. You are your hero.

November 11th, 2011

Gamespy’s Review of Skyrim‘s Mike Nelson and Scott Sharkey had this to say about Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

The world of Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is a vast expanse of sheer beauty, danger, and adventure — you can also terrorize townsfolk, get punched in the face by a giant, and fight a ton of dragons. Those are just a few of the reasons why we love this game so much.

Read their entire back-and-forth here.

November 10th, 2011

Skyrim is “Unmissable” has posted their review of Elder Scrolls: Skyrim…

How is it that after 60 hours of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, the first thing I want to do when I finish writing this review is play more Skyrim? It’s simply because, like Bethesda’s Elder Scrolls and Fallout games before it, Skyrim offers a fantasy world so rich and expansive that to describe other games in those terms after playing this one would just feel hollow. The sheer amount of content packed into the game is a true marvel of video game production; it’s even more marvelous that all of it is so well executed that you want to see and do everything, and better still that you’re free to play it all in whatever way you want. Unsurprisingly, Skyrim isn’t perfect in a technical sense, but it gets close enough to fulfilling the potential of this specific role-playing format that the experience it offers is absolutely essential.

November 10th, 2011’s Review of Skyrim

Alec Meer of writes…

I have been deeply anxious about writing this piece for the last two days purely because I don’t feel I’ve seen enough. Maybe I shouldn’t have spent so long smithing and enchanting an epic armour set. Maybe I should have gone dragon-hunting instead of obsessively picking every lock and pocket I stumbled across. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone mammoth-hunting just for the hell of it. Maybe I should have been a full-on mage or an axe-wielding barbarian. Maybe I should have ditched my namby-pamby pacifism and joined the Dark Brotherhood. Maybe I should have used a shield even once. Maybe I should have let that Master Vampire bite me instead of lightning bolting him to death. Maybe I shouldn’t have spent several hours simply riding from West to East and taking it all in.

November 10th, 2011

IGN’s Review of Skyrim refers to Skyrim as “one of the most fully-realized, easily enjoyable, and utterly engrossing role-playing games ever made. ”

Read the full review here.

November 10th, 2011

The Destructoid Show’s Review of Skyrim

Sounds like Max Scoville and Tara Long really enjoyed Elder Scrolls: Skyrim. In Max’s words, “If Skyrim doesn’t impress you on some level, I don’t know what will.” Here’s their glowing review…

November 10th, 2011